Perfect for readers who seek understanding of how they fit into the universe, Rikki West’s vibrant memoir follows her journey of confronting hidden assumptions and childhood trauma on the way to finding her life’s vibrant, living truth.
At seven, Rikki West begs a mysterious God for help, praying that her drunk father won’t harm their family and that he won’t be sent to hell. But when nothing seems to happen, she worries: Is anyone up there really listening?
This question triggers a lifelong search for the great, loving being she imagines her prayers might reach. Delving into Catholicism, psychedelics, transcendental meditation, yoga, AA and Buddhist chanting, she explores every available path. She studies genetic science at UC Berkeley and humanities at San Francisco State, combing through the knowledge they offer for answers to the big questions.
A single lesbian mom, Rikki soars in her Silicon Valley career until the dot-com bust leads to the loss of opportunities. At age 56, she finds herself barely employable. Yet, with bills to pay and the drive to earn her own way, Rikki seeks whatever odd jobs she can patch together, from barista and gardener to deck builder, proposal writer, newspaper deliverer, and substitute teacher.
Along the way, she keeps up her questioning of the universe. But it is only when she throws overboard all her notions of God and truth that something unexpected and wonderful blossoms in her. At the age of seventy-one, Rikki recognizes her answer—in the most surprising place.
The place called “I.”
“A brilliant and brave memoir about facing emptiness. The prose is intelligent, taut, and disarmingly honest while the nuanced reflections are Proustian. A wild ride to satisfaction.” —Dr. Richard S. Marken, author of Controlling People: The Paradoxical Nature of Being Human
“A powerful, heartbreaking, inspiring and joyful journey. The reader will be touched by the life, the musings, the discoveries, and most profoundly, the vulnerability and honesty of the writing. Reading this memoir, you feel less lonely in your own struggle—Rikki’s inner awareness provides one possible path for each of us to find joy.” —Roshi Illana Berger, PhD, spiritual leader, coach, and blogger
“Compelling, riveting, and a spiritual game-changer, Rikki West’s new memoir is a coming-of-age and quest memoir all rolled into one. With candor, intelligence, and clever prose, she guides the reader on a roller coaster ride of self-discovery and then leads them across the finish line of spiritual awakening.” —Julie Ryan McGue, author of Twice a Daughter: A Search for Identity, Family, and Belonging and Belonging Matters: Conversations on Adoption, Family, and Kinship
Rikki West, a former spiritual seeker and UC Berkeley–trained scientist, spent decades trying to reconcile scientific explanations of existence with her ordinary, real-life awareness. One adventure at a time, she found her way to a peace and beauty that changed all the questions. Her book Rootlines, a memoir of family healing, was published by She Writes Press in 2020. Mother of Noli and Godmother of Morgan, Rikki loves being outside in the alpine desert of northern New Mexico, where she lives with her wife Jill and her dog, Zoey.
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